Not so much.

My birthday is one week from today. I'm normally really excited about birthdays but not so much this year. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot to look forward to and things are good...generally speaking...it's just the thought of turning 28 and not being anywhere near where I thought I'd be. I mean, I always assumed that sometime between 28 and 30 I'd be starting to think about having kids and starting a family. I know it's nothing to panic over and things will unfold for me exactly as they should...but still. Sometimes it's hard to find comfort in that which you have no control over.

In fact, if I'm being completely honest...sometimes I look at people with passionless marriages and unruly kids (people I know very well) and I think to myself, "thank God that's not me." I stopped at the mall the other day and as I got out of my car I locked eyes with a woman about my age (give or take a year). She was unloading a stroller from the trunk of her SUV and I could hear her kids screaming from the backseat...she looked at me like she was envious of me...like she couldn't remember the last time she was able to just get out of her car and go inside without the routine of loading and unloading a car full of kids and crap. I was relieved that I didn't have those "things" to worry about...and I felt bad for her.

On the other hand, I want what I think everyone ultimately wants...the handsome husband, a couple of crumb snatchers and a golden retriever. (It actually makes me laugh to admit that). Why is it funny? Am I that pessimistic? Or is it now that much of a stretch, the idea is almost comical? I'll have to think about that one for a while...

I'm starting to depress myself. Moving on.

I went home this past weekend for my friend's wedding. I know I was a little worried about going "home" and what it would be like. Besides the insane humidity (which apparently, I had completely forgotten about) I had a really good time...my hair, though...not so much. I managed to make it all around town in my sister-in-law's very expensive Mercedes without wrecking it AND I got to see a lot of my old friends. Oh, and how could I forget my run-in with the late great Michael Jackson (see picture below).

Anyways, today was picture day at work. Ugh. So you mean to tell me that I have to get up an hour earlier than the already-obscene time I normally get up to blow dry my hair and put on makeup? Oh, instead of 4:00 I'll just get up at 3:00...no problem...that'll be fun. Nevermind the fact that I was at the Jamie Foxx show until 11:00 (not by choice) last night. Am I having a great day so far? Not so much...

Celebrity Encounter at RDU

I am happy to report that Michael Jackson is alive and well at the Raleigh-Durham International Airport.

Homeward Bound

I'm heading to NC in three days. This will be the first time I've gone "home" in almost two years. I've been to my parents new house at Lake Wylie, but home home is Wilmington and I haven't been there since my brother got married in November of 2007. It's always strange for me to go back. It's changed a lot...there are new roads and buildings that weren't there when I was growing up. Sometimes I forget how to get from place to place and driving by the house I grew up in makes me sad. I don't know who lives there now...all I know is that they cut down the big tree outside of my bedroom window and took down my brother's old Carolina basketball goal. Generally it feels like the place I called home for so long, forgot about me a long time ago. This adds to an uncomfortable familiarity. I might drive by something that triggers a memory...the Amoco on College Rd. where Hannah and I would ride our bikes in 5th grade without our parents permission...Hugh McRae Park where my brother and I played on little league teams for years...the Bridge Tender where my friends and I went to dinner before prom when I was in the 10th grade.

Anyways, the point is that it's kinda weird for me to go back. But one of my really good friends is getting married there this weekend so I'm coming home. I'll be staying with my brother and his wife while in Wilmington. I know I don't talk about him all that much on here...we're not as close as we used to be. He's married and I live in California. Life gets busy and thus, we've kinda drifted apart. My brother lives in a neighborhood called Landfall. It's very pretentious and there are all kinds of rules. Last time I tried to go to his house I got stopped by the guard at the gate and he wouldn't let me in because I didn't have a visitor's pass. Whatever.

My brother used to own a bar in Wilmington called The Dirty Martini...of all his business ventures, the Dirty was my favorite because I could take my friends there and we'd all get free drinks all night long. It made me feel like a pimp. He sold the bar a few years back. He and his business partner Tom Reeves also owned a restaurant called Salty's. Now he owns a commerical real estate investment company. My brother is a pilot, entrepreneur, social guru, and (someday) politician...I'm guessing he'll be the mayor of Wilmington because it seems like he knows everyone. I call him the Donald Trump of our family.

My brother's wife is an ex-NFL cheerleader. Enough said.

And then there's me. The one with the inappropriate sense of humor who marches to the beat of her own drum and lives recklessly, with wild abandon. The one who throws up gang signs in pictures to be obnoxious (my mom does not approve) and wears flip flops almost every single day of the year (also something my mom does not approve of).

I don't know why I just went off on that tangent. I'm a little off today. Starbucks messed up my order this morning. I don't even remember why I started this post in the first place...probably just to talk about heading to Wilmington this weekend...and why it's weird for me. So we'll move on...

In other news, I have discovered the downside to living in a really old house...it is FREEZING cold in the mornings. I woke up yesterday morning and, no joke, it was probably 55 degrees in my house. My poor dogs had the coldest little noses.

I have to get back to work. That's all for today.