Cooled off

Well the good news is that I'm feeling much better since my last post on here. I'm coming off of a four day weekend feeling recharged thanks to the Nintendo Wii and Beatles Rock Band. I'm just saying, whether you need a guitar player or a drummer...I always score in the 90th percentile...so think about it. I wish we had recorded video of the 4 drunken fools singing Come Together. It was epic.

Back to work today.

Now that I'm not doing middays anymore, I have something I can focus my time and energy towards. Every year our station picks a charity and does some kind of community service for the holidays. Last year we did a canned food drive in honor of Brenden Foster, we called it Brenden's Wish. Great cause...great intentions...complete cluster fuck when it came to execution. I wasn't going to let that happen this time around.

I pitched the charity idea at a meeting we had recently. Considering I was the most prepared, they kind of had to pick mine. So we're going to be doing a "Change for the Children" campaign for the Sacramento Children's Home. I went this morning and toured their facility...it reminded me of a run-down summer camp and made me sad for the kids who live there. Their residential program is for the extreme of extreme cases of abuse and neglect. The kids are in custody of the state and have been tossed around to several foster homes with unsuccessful placements...thus, landing at more of an institution than a home.

They are currently facing a $750,000 cut in funding due to the disaster that is commonly referred to as "our state budget."

So that's what I'll be focusing on until the end of the year.

Other things I'll be looking forward to: American Idol starts in January and that's all I can think of for now.

Used and abused.

Well, well, well...here we are the week of Thanksgiving 2009. I started this blog approximately 11 months ago and I'm definitely feeling the end-of-the-year burnout. But alas, now is the time to rally the troops because the holiday season just seems to require extra energy...more so than any other time of the year. I won't be going home for Thanksgiving or Christmas because I need to save my vacation days for next year. More on *that* in a minute. So this week, as in weeks past, I will be hanging out in Sacramento with Parker and Moxie. I do not plan on cooking a turkey, nor will I be watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade...rather, I plan on consuming copious amounts of wine and trash TV.




But before we get too far into Thanksgiving details, let me back up for a minute.



Recently I was invited to attend my first NBA basketball game. The Sacramento Kings people decided that they wanted to forge a working relationship with some of the local radio personalities, fearing that without our help ticket sales for this season would be even more dismal than in seasons past. I mean, we're in a recession. Who can afford tickets to NBA basketball games...especially in Sacramento...with a team that's been struggling? The Kings PR people held a meeting with us to go over ideas about how we could build "personal relationships" with the players and invited us to attend the King's home opener against Memphis. They gave us great seats and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

But as great as the game was...by far...the best part of the night was finding out who we were sitting behind. Alright, see the guy in the black leather bomber jacket and the white hat...he's sitting courtside beside the guy in the purplish-blue shirt? Know who that is? That's Daniel "Rudy" Ruettiger, the guy that the movie Rudy was about!!! I just thought that was something special. He waved to us a couple of times and gave me the thumbs up when I got put up on the jumbo-tron (also a very thrilling experience) near the end of the game.

So that was fun.

Last week I went to two movie premiere's. I did The Blindside on Tuesday and The Twilight Saga: New Moon on Wednesday. They're not really premiere's...more like sneak peeks where you get to see it a couple of days before it officially opens in theaters. The radio stations in our company give away these screening passes so when you show up, everyone in the theater is "a listener." This can be quite the ego-booster because everyone treats you like you're a big deal...when in reality...it's just a movie theater in Sacramento on a Tuesday night. You stand up in front of the audience before the movie starts, you introduce yourself, thank everyone for coming, give away a few prizes, and then harvest a nice, big round of applause...all for you...and it feels good. I see why so many people who do this for a living, over time, start to think that they're actually the big cheese.

Anyways, Friday of last week is what I really want to talk about. If you've been reading this blog then you probably already know all about how I was initially hired by my radio station to be part of a morning show. Then, about 14 months ago, the guy doing middays quit to manage his wife's WNBA career (yes, she's that bad ass...Olympic gold medalist...the whole nine yeards) so I feel like I kind of got bullied into doing it...for free...meaning that I took on extra duties - which someone else was getting paid a full-time salary for doing - and got nothing in return.

At the time, I felt like it was more important to secure my position at the station than to fight about having to do an extra daily shift. Afterall, I was the newest on staff, I was the youngest AND I was the only female on-air personality. I was told at the time, by my boss, that there was NO ROOM in the budget for a raise...that I could either do the extra work for no extra pay and be safe from "the chopping block" if cuts came around or I could refuse and be the first person he'd have to eliminate if he had to get rid of someone.

Our morning show is 5:45 a.m. until 10:00 a.m. and the midday shift was 10:00 a.m. until 2:00 p.m. That's 8 hours and 15 minutes on the air everyday Monday through Friday which doesn't include the fact that I do all of the morning show website work as well. Keep in mind also that I arrive every morning prior to the 5:45 start time...normally around 5:15-5:30. Listen, I know it's not back-breaking physical labor...but it is a long time to sit confined in a little room...responsible for doing quality work for, what should be, two full-time positions. Oh wait, I take that back - I was allowed to voicetrack my show from 1:00 until 2:00 everyday...a whole hour I was excused from. Did I mention that NOBODY else on the staff EVER had to do double daily airshifts AND they made me work a few 5 hours Saturday shifts as well?

Well as much as I just complained about it, I'm not stupid. I accepted the midday show...a bit begrudgingly...because I felt like I wasn't being fairly compensated for doing two full-time airshifts for one salary...but what else could I do? Come to work everyday wondering if that would be the day they'd let me go? I felt like I had to prove that not only could I do it, but that I could do it well...take the midday show to #1 and be able to say, "I carried this station with my numbers because I'm good. I never got paid a dime for it." Now granted, they did offer me a bonus structure for my midday show, but I always saw that as a reward for the results...not payment for the actual work that was being done.

Not to mention, that over the summer my show was the only daypart on the station that was #1. I beat the morning show. I beat the afternoon show AND I beat the night show. Did I get my bonus for it? No. Because the contract they re-drafted for me which included my new responsibilites as a morning show co-host and midday host excluded the summer numbers. Let me break this down for you...the midday show was the only #1 rated daypart on the entire radio station and I didn't even get my bonus for it...so I did it, absolutely free and got absolutely nothing in return.

Please pardon the "diva tone" I'm using here. But facts are facts. I was their work horse. I did a good job. I stepped up (even if I only did it because I felt like I had to) and I did it well.

So what happened on Friday?

Well, my boss came in told me that he was taking me off middays. He tried to spin it like this was a good thing for me and you're probably thinking the same thing. If I wasn't getting paid for it and all I've done in this post is complain about the lack of compensation...then why would I possibly be upset that he would take me off the show?

Here's why. Remember when I was told that there was no money in the budget and that there just simply wasn't anything they could give me so I'd HAVE to do it for free...but if I didn't, I'd probably get cut from the staff? Well, the reason they took me off middays is so that someone else could do it...someone who's getting paid a FULL-TIME SALARY TO DO IT. Yes, you heard me correctly. The person who did middays before me got paid a full-time salary and the person who took over my show today is getting paid a full-time salary. Did I mention, that both of the people who came before and after me were/are getting paid FULL-TIME SALARIES to do what I was doing for free...getting #1 ratings for...for 14 months??????????????

Now, you might be asking yourself...that doesn't make any sense, why would your boss do that? Good question. I'll tell you why. It's because he had to make room on the staff for his ass-kissing friend. That guy got put on the night show (with a full-time salary)...the old night guy moved to afternoons...the old afternoon guy got moved to middays...and I got bumped back to just the morning show. But wait, I thought that there was no money in the budget to give me anything...and now there's an entirely new full-time position on our staff...who's paying that salary? If there was no money in the budget, then how is this new guy getting paid?

Oh that's right, it's because I was being lied to.

And even if they cut other people's salaries to be able to afford a new position on our staff, then it still doesn't make sense that they'd pull me off a show that I've excelled at...a show that I've invested a lot in and energy in...a show that they could still pay me to do for less than they're paying my replacement. Or am I crazy?

I feel like I just got used for the past 14 months. And as soon as my boss' friend needed a job, all of a sudden we needed to "reshuffle the deck." Please don't insult my intelligence. You forced me to do something I didn't want to do by threatening me with my job...leaving me no choice...and as soon as you waned to make room on the staff for your buddy...the one who has outperformed everybody else on the station is the one who has to give up her show, give up her midday bonus and go back to being the "low man on the totem pole." I got pushed aside without so much as a "thank you for stepping up to the plate." No "job well-done." No "we appreciate you being a team-player." Nothing.

When I told my boss, "My primary concern is that, per our conversation 14 months ago when you told me that I'd likely be the one losing my job when budget cuts came around unless I did both shifts for no extra pay, without middays I'm now vulnerable again. I mean, it goes without saying that I'm less valuable now." In response, he had the gall to look me in the eye and say, "Well that was a different time." BULLSHIT. You used me. End of discussion. Throw a period on the end of that sentence and let's call it a day. Period.

Does anybody else see this from my perspective? Am I the crazy one?

My lawyer friend said that I have a discrimination lawsuit on my hands. He also said that I could go after my company for breach of contract since, technically, my contract is for mornings and middays...but really, what would that accomplish? They'd just throw me back on the middays for no extra pay and I'd still feel like I was getting the raw end of the deal. I don't want to sue anyone. It's not even so much about the money (although I know that's what it probably sounds like it's solely about)...because it's also about the principle too. I just don't think you should be allowed to treat people that way. I don't think you should be able to bully someone into doing something and then take it away from them, spinning the story to make it sound good so that I'll say, "Oh ok...thank you so much for relieving me of the midday show."

One of the things I've noticed about my boss is that he always figures out a way to decide he's going to screw someone over...but then spin the story in such a way so that people don't realize what's really happening. I'm smarter than that. Please don't waste your time insulting my intelligence. I recognize an agenda from a mile away. Your friend needed a job, so everyone got moved around and I got screwed. If that wasn't the case then why not just switch the afternoon and night guys...I mean, if it was really about "reshuffling the deck" like he implied...putting the stronger personality in afternoon drive...then leave me out of it. But no, sadly this wasn't about what's best for our station. At least, not from where I stand.

If you're still reading this by now then let me just say WOW. I can't believe you made it this far. I just had to get all of that off my chest because it's been bothering me. And I have no one to talk to about it all. My parents don't really "get" the way things work in radio. My coworkers are the absolute worst people I could ever confide in and honestly, it just takes so much energy to try to explain it verbally that it helps me to write it all down...get it all out...purge it.

It's ok. I keep telling myself, "I'll be home soon. I'll be home soon."

I feel like I could keep writing...I could talk about my friend Rebecca's wedding how she's asked me to be the Maid of Honor...in North Carolina...six months from now. That's a little overwhelming but I'm glad to do it. I could also go into more detail about our family vacation to Alaska coming up in June (one month after the wedding) and how I'll be using almost all of my vacation time before the 4th of July next year...but I'll save that for another time. Not to mention, I'm suppoed to plan our 10 year High School reunion in N.C. next year because I was the senior class president but my schedule is just filling up too quickly.

The good news is, that if this blog survives into 2010 then I'll have plenty to tell you about when it all gets here. Until then, Happy Thanksgiving...be thankful that you don't work where I work.

There's a slug in my tub.

"Home is where your history begins. Home is where they catch you when you fall." ~Where the Heart Is

A couple of weeks ago when I heard about two job openings...one in Wilmington and one in Charlotte...I thought, "Surely this is meant to be." I want to move home. I've been in CA for about 5 years now, I've been almost everywhere there is to go and I've done almost everything there is to do...Yosemite, Lake Tahoe, the Muir Woods, San Francisco, Sausalito, Monterrey, Nappa, Sonoma, Santa Cruz, San Jose, Oakland, L.A., Vegas, San Diego, Mexico and a bunch of places in between. I used to spend my weekends taking off to a new town, a new tourist attraction, in search of discovery in the wild west. After a while, the trips became less and less frequent. The weekend adventures turned into house-cleaning, errand running, domestic duty obligations.

I don't need to live in Northern California to stay home and vacuum my living room. I can do that anywhere.

Anyways, two jobs...both in North Carolina. My parents live in Charlotte. My brother lives in Wilmington. My mom and dad went so far as to say they'd buy me a house if I moved home. That's a pretty enticing offer and it certainly sweetened the deal a little. I think they just really wanted a ready-made house/pet sitter for when they jet off to Europe, or they legitimately want me back in NC that badly...either way, Charlotte was my first choice. Not to mention, three of my really good friends from growing up live there now...two members of the posse and one of my college roommates.

Then there was Wilmington. The sleepy little town that I couldn't wait to move away from. I swore it was too small and restrictive...I needed much more space for my overstated, larger-than-life ideas to roam free. I lived in Wilmington from 3rd-8th grade and then moved about 15 miles north to a little town called Hampstead for highschool. I left that area when I was 18 so it's been 10 years since I've spent any significant amounts of time there. The idea of moving back made me a little apprehensive. It's changed so much Had the town I couldn't wait to escape from years ago forgotten about me as well? Still, I found excitement in the prospect of reconnecting with old friends, and making some new...rediscovering the place I called home once upon a time.

So needless to say, the stage was set. Two jobs in two places I could see myself living...two jobs doing what I know I'm good at doing. It seemed (almost) perfect, like it was divine timing intervening to lead me back east.

Now let me state my disclaimer for the record: I knew I wasn't guaranteed one of the jobs...I'm not owed anything nor do I think that just because I have family in NC, the two potential employers should look more favorably upon me...however...I really felt like at least one of them was going to pan out. Not to toot my own horn, but when it comes to radio I know what I'm doing. I've done mornings, middays, I've been a music director, news/traffic reporter, I know production, Selector, how to write compliance letters, can do PSA's, I get good numbers and as long as you don't make derogatory religious comments, I tend to get along with everyone.

Well, this has all been a lot of build up to letting you know that I didn't get either job. And to add insult to injury, I found out that I had been passed over for both jobs on the same day. Listen, the job in Charlotte went to a girl who is more than qualified to do the job. She's worked in Philadelphia (market #8) and Portland (market #23). Her name is Kelly, she starts November 30th and I'm sure she's great. I don't know these things because I've stalked her, by the way...it was published on All Access (a website for radio people). So the job in Charlotte, the one I really wanted, went to someone else...but at least I lost to someone who's good...scratch that...better than me. I can accept defeat when it comes by way of someone with more experience.

The job in Wilmington is the one that really stung; like a Portuguese Man o' War. The girl they put on the morning show is nothing short of the equivalent of 10,000 nails on a chalkboard plus ten nasal New Jersey crack whores in a verbal smackdown mixed with fog horns and a thousand alley cats in heat. Their show should now come with a warning: Caution, listening to this show will make your ears bleed. I mean, maybe she's not that bad...I just know that when I was home about a month ago for Greta's wedding I heard her do a live break from a club and I thought it was a joke. Now she's on the morning show. But she's 20-years-old and has blonde hair...shocker.

So no moving home for me...at least, not yet. I'm trying to look at the bright side, the silver lining, the light at the end of the tunnel. I mean, I get to go see Twilight New Moon on Wednesday night, which doesn't open in theaters until Friday. That's kind of exciting...I guess.

Other than that, I can't think of much else to tell you besides that it's really cold this morning.

Also, there was a slug in my tub this morning.

Ayo Technology.

Here's something interesting. Our radio station is located in the middle of a concrete jungle. We're about 2 miles from downtown Sacramento and we're surrounded by other industrial establishments...Interstate Plastics...Dome Printing and Publishing...a junkyard...you get the idea. There are no farms. There are no pastures or areas conducive to raising farm animals. So of all of the random animals that could have shown up in our parking lot, and are subsequently now declaring it their turf...no, not a stray cat...not a rabbit...but a rooster and a hen.

This morning we had a stand-off.

The problem with having them in our parking lot is that they hover by our back door like, "let us in, bitches." At 4:45 in the morning when I'm half asleep and clumsily trying to find my way from my car to the door at work, I don't expect them to be blocking the door. Not only do they scare the shit out of me, but they are mean little fuckers and they make noise at me when I try to shoo them away.

It's probably our own faults. We feed them and give them water. We've evern built them a makeshift chicken coop out of a cardboard box and some hamster cage shavings. I can't help it...I have a bleeding heart for animals. Now they rule the roost...in fact, when I pulled in this morning I'm pretty sure I heard them listening to Run This Town by Jay-Z, Rihanna and Kanye. We've even named them. Cledus and Shirley. Cledus doesn't treat Shirley well but she's loyal to him.

Anyways...

A lot has happened in the past 3 and a half weeks. I mean, a lot. I guess I should back up a little to the week before my birthday. Now, I'm not trying to play the "woe is me" card because I realize that there comes a time when you (i.e. me) have to stop expecting people to make a big deal out of your (my) birthday. While I recognize that I am past the big "milestone" birthdays, I still expect a select few individuals to, at least, acknowledge when it is. In Northern California I have 4 good friends...these are people I hold to a higher standard than other people in my life. I understand that they all have their own lives and nobody is perfect...people forget things sometimes...that's fine. But the 4 people I am close with, I expect to remember.

I'll make a long story short and just tell you that 3 of the 4 close friends I have out here...forgot. That's 75% of my good friends. Nevermind the fact that social networks like Facebook make it virtually impossible to miss friends' birthdays. In fact, I had friends from middle school (who I haven't seen or talked to you in years) acknowledge that it was my birthday and went out of their way to "write something on my wall" which is a Facebook term for those of you living under a rock.

I'm not going to lie, it hurt my feelings.

I spent my 28th birthday (a Friday night) watching a Lifetime movie with my dogs. And somewhere in the midst of feeling sorry for myself and recognizing that I have no life...in between Part 1 and Part 2 of "The Two Mr. Kissel's" starring John Stamos...I decided that it's time to officially quit California. I've been thinking about it for a year now.

I've applied for two jobs in North Carolina and Friday I had a great conversation with potential employer #1. In just under 20 minutes he seemed to have definitively made up his mind about me (which is either a really, really good sign or a really, really bad sign). Potential employer #1 is a job in Wilmington, NC. I haven't lived in that area for 10 years now...going back would be strange, but that's where my brother and sister-in-law are so it might not be that bad.

Potential employer #2 is in Charlotte. I don't want to jinx myself by making assumptions about either of the possibilities so I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens.

I also recently lost my cell phone. Not a good feeling when you don't have a home phone and your cell phone is your only means of communication. I dropped it in the parking lot at Trader Joe's...apparently...and some good samaritan gave it to a manager who then attempted to call every contact in my contacts. He finally got a hold of my friend Jenny in Seattle and she sent me a message on Facebook. Right before I was getting ready to go on a panic-stricken wild goose chase, trying to retrace my steps from the day before...I got an e-mail from Jenny that she had talked to the manager at Trader Joe's and he informed her my phone was waiting safely at their store for me to come pick it up.

Whew. The power of technology. I could have spent all day scavenger hunting my way around Sacramento looking for my phone...but one Facebook message and the problem was solved! Amazing.