Help.

I'm such a slacker.

1). I've completely lost the motivation to keep up with a blog or start writing my next screenplay or stay on top of my e-mails.

2). My computer is still jacked-up and I've placed it in the hands of our radio station IT guy...now I'm scared I'll never see it again.

3). I think I have tendonitis and/or arthritis in my right hand from all of the texting and/or keyboard typing that I do.

4). I signed up for a damn Twitter account so now I have one more stupid social networking thingy I have to keep up with.

5). I have PMS.

6). The IRS is claiming they can't locate my tax return info when I try to check the status of it online which is starting to worry me.

7). And to top it off, the high school kids I've been workign with in the afternoons are being heinous brats right now...which I can only assume is attributed to a case of Spring Fever...and this makes me want to physically harm them all.

Help.

Beginning of the end.

WTF, WTF, WTF!!! It's official. I found my first gray hair today. I'm 27 years old. This isn't supposed to be happening!!! I almost had a heart-attack. I was standing in the bathroom at work and as I was washing my hands when I saw something shimmer in the mirror. I stared at it for a second, refusing to accept that it was what I thought it was. Then I yanked it out and marched right back in to the studio to take a picture of it. I'm not sure why I felt the need to take a picture, it was an instinctive reaction to the situation.

All I have to say is GOD DAMNIT!!! It's the beginning of then end, for sure...

Wishin' on a Star.

I saw a shooting star last night and for the first time in my entire life, I wished for money. I always swore I'd never be one of those people obsessed with making it, having it, spending it, or worshipping it but the one thing I know (right now) is that I'm miserable without it. Why does it have to be so stressful?

My roommate is moving out on Saturday so I've been spending the past two weeks trying to find a new roommate...the problem is...that the people who own the house I'm living in haven't been paying the mortgage and now the house is in forclosure. I can't move someone in knowing that we'll probably have to move out within the next couple of months. I'm trying to figure out if I should even pay my rent on March 1st. Isn't part of my rental agreement that I pay my rent every month (on time) based on good faith that the home owner is responsibly paying the mortgage which, in turn, provides me with a stable living environment?

The NOD (Notice of Default) was filed February 18th and it will probably be a month or two before it goes to auction. Once the house is sold I know they have to give me 60 days notice to vacate the premise but should I stay that long or should I move? I don't want to move. It's expensive to move and I drive a Beetle convertible...there's no way I could fit my California king bed, sectional sofa, TV cabinet, chest of drawers and loads of other crap in my teeny tiny car. This means I'd have to hire someone to help me move. Where does that money come from? My property management company won't give me my deposit back if I break my lease and move out early. I gave them a $1500 deposit...I need that back.

So that's one of my problems right now.

Then there was the botched lasik eye surgery debacle...my parents flew to San Francisco and while they were in Northern California I got my mom an appointment to have lasik done with the same doctor who did mine. They were only going to charge her $1,000 for both eyes. Great deal. The problem was that they were only able to do one of her eyes because she had a soft cornea in her other eye...but they didn't discover her bum eye until after they had cut into it. So basically, only one of her eyes is done which means she has to fly back out here in May to get the other one fixed after it heals. To make a long story short...it hasn't been the great experience I was hoping it would be for her. And let me make this clear: It wasn't the doctor's fault. There was no way they could have predicted that she had a soft cornea prior to cutting into her eye. That being said, I feel partly responsible for the discomfort she experienced while she was supposed to be on vacation. We spent the whole time they were on vacation going to and from the doctor's office, Lens Crafters, back to the doctor's office, back to Lens Crafters...we did this for three full days.

I came back to Sacramento this past Monday and started a second job. I work with a group of at-risk high school students in the afternoons and we're doing a program called the California Voices initiative. My students have to make a 4-6 minute documentary about a hero in their community so of course, they want to do their project on Kevin Johnson (the Mayor). This is turning into a very time-consuming second job. I have no idea how to use Movie Maker and all of the other video editing software so I've spent over 20 hours trying to get caught up. The good news is that I've been pulling every string I can to secure some time with KJ because if my kids are doing a project...they're going to do THE BEST project. What's so cool about the documentaries is that coming up in May, we're goign to have a big screening at The Crest Theater to show all of the projects.

And finally, I'm going to leave you with a picture of Moxie taking a bath recently...it makes me smile...and yes, I was in the tub with my dog. Is that weird?

Oh yeah and I decided to enter my screen play in two different contests. It's a longshot to win because they are both international competitions...but I paid a little extra to get judge's feedback. If I understand everything correctly, the judge's will take extra time to hand-write me notes about how I can make it better.

False alarm.

I normally wouldn't let a stupid holiday like Valentine's Day get to me but I have to say, this year was particularly difficult to get through. It all started yesterday when one of the guys I do the morning show Valentine's Day present. He needed me to go because he doesn't have a license or a car (btw - he's 30 years old) and if I didn't take him then his fiance would have to drive him to the store...and that wouldn't be very romantic. So I went over around 7:00 and took him shopping. We spent two hours picking out a necklace, some bath stuff, two sets of pajamas, her favorite candy and a card. How awful!

When we got back to their house, I made a really stupid decision. I decided, for some odd reason, that as a 27-year-old woman I should try hallucinagenic mushrooms (also known as shrooms) for the first time in my entire life. So I ate one...a stem and a cap...nothing happened. I even put it in between two Eggo mini's and made a little waffle shroom sandwich out of it to make sure I chewed it up really well. I didn't feel anything and I was too scared to eat another one. It was Friday the 13th...stranger things have happened...and at least now I can say I tried it one time.

And I don't know if was the shroom or the fact that I was dead tired, but I got THE best night's sleep last night. I passed out at 11:30 and woke up at 10:00 this morning on top of the 3 hour nap I took when I got home from work Friday afternoon!

Then I woke up this morning and decided to let my dogs out into the front yard because all of the rain over the past couple of days flooded the back. As soon as I opened the door I saw a big box from Flowers Direct. I got all excited. Who could they be from? My mind was racing just thinking about it. I picked them up and carried the box inside and just as I was about to tear into it...whoops...I noticed they weren't for me. False alarm. My roommate got two dozen beautiful roses from some guy she met on the internet who lives on the east coast. Well, good for her.

Then I went to work. I know I've been bitching about it on here since I found out I was scheduled...so yeah...work sucked. It was a bunch of people wanting to give "shout outs" to their significant others. I did get one dinner invitation from a guy named Ricky. I said no. The rule in radio is not to date listeners. Listeners who call radio stations trying to hit on the dj's are usually pretty creepy.

Anyways, I'm home now and it just occured to me that my parents didn't even call today! It's 8:00 at night and I'm home with my dogs. So happy Valentine's Day to all of you who worked today, or did drugs last night or had a false alarm this morning. All I have to say is, thank God it's almost over!!!

Flo Rida in the hizzle.

No one told me beforehand, that Flo Rida was coming in yesterday...and I have nothing substantial to base this on except my own intuition, but I suspect it was done on purpose. That's how chicks in radio are. Every other female that I work with came in all dolled-up which should have been the first clue that there was something I was unaware of...something I was missing. And when I casually mentioned: "Oh, I didn't know he was coming in today" our promotions director (who should have told me) pretended like she didn't hear the comment I had just made...and I was standing right beside her when I said it. If it legitimately had been a mistake, wouldn't she have apologized? That's what I would have done if I had legitimately forgotten to tell someone something that he/she should have known prior to it actually happening. Again, sometimes I get the feeling that radio chicks just like to hate on each other for no reason. I felt stupid. I was unprepared for the interview and my partner had to carry most of the dialogue...but whatever.

In other news, our studios are right down the street from the Arden Fair Mall so I drive past it on my way home everyday. There's a movie theater at the mall playing "He's Just Not That Into You" but I guess they couldn't fit the whole title on the marquee so it reads HE'S NOT INTO YOU. Damn, that's a harsher way of putting it. I got a good laugh out of the sign and I'm going to try to take a picture of it on my way home today so I can post it on here.

Other than that, there isn't much else to report. I have to work tomorrow (Valentine's Day) but I'm off on Monday. At least I'll have a reason to get out of the house for a couple of hours. I've got a lot to do before my parents get here on Wednesday.

I need a drink.

I'm sitting on my ass watching the Carolina / Duke basketball game right now. It's reminding me of when I was a student at UNC. College feels like it was so long ago. It took me five years to finish my degree in economics...good thing I stuck it out...it sure comes in handy when I'm surfing http://www.perezhilton.com/ every morning at work (insert sarcasm here). Although, my time in college is what lead me to a life in California so I guess it wasn't all bad. My problem was that I couldn't stay focused. I had just finished 13 years of school...I had graduated from high school with a 4.75 GPA and a Salutatorian title to go along with it. I got straight A's most of my way through school and by the time college rolled around, I just didn't feel like doing any more homework, projects, papers or presentations. But it was important to my family so I went through the motions...

Anyways, I'm 27 now and I'm hoping someday I'll understand why I wrote a 30 page analysis about hyperinflation in Zimbabwe.

If you've read the other posts I've put on here then you may remember when I was telling you about my dad's idea for me to move home and start a business with him...a coffee shop, to be more specific. Well now he's changed his mind and he's thinking that a Chic-fil-a would be more profitable. He's probably right, but the thought of quitting my exciting radio job to go home and run a fast food restaurant...hmmmm...I don't know about that. I'm still in the pro's vs. con's stage of the decision making process. The question I keep coming back to is: at what point do my long-term goals of financial stability and family involvement begin to outweigh the "fun" of being on the radio? And if it's already begun, when do I walk away from my life here to pursue the other things I aspire to have in my life? I'm not going to lie...I want to make money. I want to make real money. Radio is NOT the path to financial wealth. It is only lucrative for a select few...a common misconception among those who think we get paid a lot. We don't; especially now that the radio game has changed and talent is regarded as less and less important. The music is the star of any radio station...the people who talk are becoming more and more useless. In fact, I'm not convinced that someday there might not even be DJ's on radio stations. Everywhere I look there's more syndication, voice-tracking and out of market programming.

I've been making myself crazy over this decision.

Oh and to top it off, I just found that I've been scheduled to work an air shift on Saturday from 2 until 6 - Valentine's Day - yay. I hope this doesn't come-off sounding completely arrogant and ego-maniacal (is that even a word?) but I do mornings AND middays Monday through Friday. I'm on the air from 5:30 in the morning until 2:00 in the afternoon...and I don't get paid a dime for doing my 10-2 midday show. I didn't even get a bonus for having the #1 rated midday show in all of Sacramento. If you listen to almost any other radio station in the country, you'll hear a morning show...and then you'll hear an entirely different person doing the 10-2 shift...and guess what...that midday person gets paid a full-time salary! So I'm already getting ass raped by the company I work for by doing two FULL TIME air shifts for one measly salary, not to mention - I do all of the morning show's website postings and book us interviews...like Katy Perry...which I got yelled at for because after I was given permission to book the in-studio my boss forgot he told me I could have her come in and then decided I should not have been talking to Katy's record rep about what time she'd be coming in. Does that make any sense to you? Yeah, me neither. So excuse my lack of "team" attitude for not wanting to come in on Saturday...Valentine's Day...to work while all of the other full-timers have the day off.

I'm bitching and whining...I know...but I can't help it. It's easy to say, "Oh you're lucky to have such a cool job. You get to meet celebrities and go to concerts." And everyone who says/thinks that is correct...but nothing is perfect.

I can feel my blood pressure going up as I'm typing this so it might be time to call it a night. I need a drink.

Summer Lovin'

All I have to say is Fuck Monday mornings. It's 6:38 am right now and I've already been at work for two hours. The nice thing is that our studio is in a big tall office building so I get to watch the run rise every morning. That puts me in a good mood. We also face due east so we have a clear view of the Sierra Nevada's and on clear days you can see snow capped mountains in the distance...sometimes I look out at and realize how close I am to Lake Tahoe...the most gorgeous place I've ever been. That puts me in a good mood too.

I stayed up entirely too late last night watching the Grammy's. I was glued to the Chris Brown/Rihanna drama and it was in that moment, I realized how pathetic my life is...when I will stay up until 11:00 to find out all of the details about their fight even though I know my alarm will be going off at 3:45 the next morning. Needless to say, I'm hating life right now.

Anyways, it's a new week which means new and exciting goings on...we launched a new promotion this morning. It's a "Pay your Bills" contest where people can go on the website and sign up to have us pay their bills. That's the big news. Other than that, the only thing I have to report is that I received one of those random "blast from the past" e-mails over the weekend that pop-up every now and again. This one came from someone I dated when I was 19 years old...almost 10 years ago.

We met the summer we were camp counselors in upstate New York. I had just finished my freshman year at UNC and didn't want to move back home for the summer. So I applied to be a camp counselor. It was free room and board for 12 weeks plus you got paid like $1500. I definitely could have made more if I had gone back to the beach to wait tables at Blackbeard's Quarters but like I said, going home wasn't an option. So anyways, the counselors were brought up a full week before the first campers arrived. Half of the staff members were American college kids and the other half were international kids who came through a program called Camp America. Their deal was simple. They came to work at a summer camp for 3 months, earned a little bit of money and then they got an extra 3 months to travel the U.S. with the money they had earned. So basically, there were 250 staff members between the ages of 18 and 25...all with an appetite for foreign cuisine...if you know what I mean.

The Americans went straight for the internationals...an vice versa. I wound up with the 23-year-old Australian soccer coach. His name was Scott. He had such a thick accent taht when we'd have time off and we'd go out in town, I'd have to translate for him at restaurants because nobody could understand whathe was saying. What I remember most about our summer fling was the innocence. I lost my viriginity at 16 and at that time in my life I was pretty promiscuous...but Scott wasn't like that. We never slept together. It was just good, clean fun. Things got pretty intense for a lot of the couples and many of them remained together after the summer ended. In fact, a few years back two of the counselors who met that summer wound up getting married in Ireland (where he was from). Unfortunately that wasn't the case for Scott and myself. I was going back to school and I knew our time was fleeting. He came to me one night and suggested that he move to the United States so that we could get a place together. It kinda freaked me out because suddenly it all became really real...if that makes any sense...so I completely shut down on him. I treated him like shit and while I don't regret much in life...I do regret the way I treated him towards the end of that summer.

Well of course, life got busy and we'd keep in touch briefly through mass e-mails sent between counselors...but eventually those stopped coming and going.

To make a long story short, we lost touch for a while. Last time I heard from him was a couple of years ago and then a couple of weekends ago I was down in Modesto cleaning out my house when I found two letters he had written me the summer we were together. Memories came flooding back...there's nothing like a little summer lovin' from that past to make you all nostalgic...and then over the weekend I got an e-mail from him. I got all excited and e-mailled him back immediately.

The question is, now that we're both single...is it even worth exploring? It was so long ago...we've both changed so much...and we live half-way around the world from one another. Yet somehow I can't shake the memories of our summer together. It's probably just better to be cordial and check-in with another from time to time...

Personal Foul!

The morning show I'm a part of is called Wayne, Jay and Reagan in the Morning. Technically there are 5 of us (we also have a producer/street guy and a mixer). Half of our show got to go to the Grammy's this weekend so Jay and I are here by ourselves. At first I was a little butt hurt about not being able to go but I went last year and really, once was enough. Trust me, going to the Grammy's is not as exciting as it sounds. You don't get to use the same entrance as the celebrities so you never see them...I sat in the 300's section of the Staples Center so the performers and presenters on the stage looked like ants...and the parking situation in downtown LA was a NIGHTMARE. It was definitely worth the experience of being able to say that I went but I had more fun that weekend doing other things. But for the record, I still don't think it's fair that half of our show got an exciting weekend in LA while Jay and I are here in rainy Sacramento. Personal foul!

Anyways, tonight we all got invited to the Sacramento Kings game in honor of Chris Webber retiring his jersey. Then he's having a retirement party afterwards at Center Court (his restaurant). Tomorrow I'm going to clean out my car if it kills me and Sunday I have ringside tickets to WWE RAW and ECW Road to Wrestlemania at Arco Arena. I don't really want to go but I saw that The Miz is going to be wrestling and I'm pretty sure that that's Mike from the Real World and Road Rules Challenges...which I think it pretty interesting.

In other news, you may have noticed that I took down a post I put on here earlier this week. It was an e-mail that I wrote my ex after we hung out on Super Bowl Sunday...after going back and reading it again, I decided that even I have some things I should keep to myself...plus, I don't want this to turn into a place where I come to vent about a relationship I got out of a year ago. What's the point? Moving on.

Oh, and I almost forgot to tell you that someone showed up at my house yesterday looking for my roommate. It was a younger-looking girl who had flown to Sacramento from Washington DC. When she showed up at my house, she said that my roommate was expecting her so I let her in to wait until my roommate got home from work...which in retrospect was probably not the right decision...but what was I supposed to do? Well, when my roommate came home, she went berserk! It was a mess...and now my roommate is upset with me. Like I said, she's in witness protection and the public defender's office wasn't supposed to be able to locate her but somehow they did. It was major drama in my house yesterday.

Needless to say, I'm glad that the weekend is here!

Bleh.

Alright, let's get a little personal, shall we? I'm going to warn you now, this might be a little TMI for some of you as parts of it will be sexually explicit...but it's a real issue and I need to get it out. Here's what happened: my ex came up to Sacramento yesterday for the Super Bowl party I was telling you about (see last post). A few days before the game he tried to get me to engage in a little sexting...which as I understand it, is like phone sex executed via text messaging. I refused to participate because A). we're not together anymore and B). what good would it do? He was at work and we live an hour apart so it's not like the sexting would have or could have materialized into more. I told him that he needed to find someone he could have casual, meaningless, no strings attached sex with - but that that person wasn't me. It's not casual and meaningless to me...not when it comes to him...or when it comes to "us." I think that's a fundamental difference between men and women. So I turned him down even though it was extremely difficult. And I think he was surprised that I suggested he go search for ass elsewhere.

Then there was Saturday night...not long after I wrote the last post on here. We started texting back and forth to confirm times for Sunday and in a moment of temporary insanity...a complete lapse in judgment and common sense...I said that he could come up that night, after he got off work, and could stay the night. This was approximately 9:30 pm (around the time he was supposed to be leaving work...he's also a bartender on top of the modelling thing). He said had been thinking about coming up early but that the bar was still busy and he didn't think he'd be able to leave until more in the 10:30-11:00...then you'd have to add in an hour's worth of drive time...so we agreed that he should just come up Sunday morning before the game, but really he's the one who said no. Part of me felt rejected because I was the one who had thrown the offer out there and if he had wanted to come badly enough, he would have driven up no matter how late it was. I wasn't expecting him to say no but when he did, I figured it was a blessing in disguise because I knew (deep down) that it would have been a bad idea. I knew that one night of physical intimacy would have reversed some of the healing I've done since we split up a year ago. So I let it go and concluded that the window of opportunity had closed...the moment of temporary insanity had passed...and whether I felt slightly rejected or not, it was for the best.

Anyways, yesterday at the Super Bowl party it was just like old times. We were legitimately enjoying each other's company. I introduced him to my new co-workers...he held my hand and the more he drank, the more touchy feely he got. I was still a little bruised from being turned down Saturday night so I was determined to stand my ground on the "no hooking-up" rule, more than anything, just out of sheer spite. Plus, I didn't want to ruin the day we had just had...it was nothing short of perfect. We hadn't been able to hang out like that in a looooooong time. I felt like we made progress - real progress - towards building a friendship in the wake of our traumatic break-up.

When the game was over, we had both been drinking and as we were walking to our cars, he kissed me in the parking lot. Isn't it sad that that's all it took? He asked me if he could follow me back to my house to "make sure I got back alright" and of course, I said yes. It's almost painful for me to think about what happened after we left Center Court. It's something I'd rather just forget about at this point but I guess I might as well finish the story.

We got to my house and started watching Old School. By that point, we both knew what was going to happen next...

Next thing you know, we were upstairs going at it. He had had way more to drink than I had and even though I could taste the alcohol on his breath, he didn't seem out-of-control drunk. After about 30 minutes he lost all momentum...went totally limp...there, I said it. I felt like it was my fault. He kept saying that it was because he had been drinking but we have had sex in the past when he was way more intoxiacted than he was last night and that had never happened before...so it was weird. I couldn't help but think about the sexting conversation a couple of days prior that had failed to take-off and the night before the game when he had turned down my invitation to come to Sacramento and then, of course, the awkwardness of yesterday...it was messing with my head. He, on the other hand, was determined to keep it going so while I had completely checked out he was trying desperately to continue...which just made it even more frustrating. Finally I told him to stop. It wasn't working. We used to have such great sexual chemistry, we used to be so in-sync with one another...I kept wondering, had we lost all of that?

And just as we had arrived at a pivotal point in our day together, he did the worst thing I think he could possibly do...he just left. He didn't lay there and try to make conversation, he didn't try to console me or reassure me that it wasn't my fault. I can't say I blame him...I probably would have wanted to leave too. So now it's Monday morning and I haven't heard from him since he left last night. I guess, more than anything, I've realized that it's time to let go...I mean, really let go. Because I can't move on with my life while I'm still partially invested in the past and clearly the past has changed. We're not the same couple that used to be on fire for eachother. There's disconnect and awkwardness and rejection and once the system has been thrown out of balance, there isn't much than can be done realign everything. The sex was the one thing I knew we still had, the one good thing we could always come back to...which is a very unhealthy thing to cling to in a dying relationship...but it was something.

So I'm sitting at work this morning and I'm upset. I'm angry at myself for giving into the urge when I knew it was a bad idea and I promised myself I wasn't going to go there. I'm also sad that the last little spark from our flame has (seemingly) burned out. I know that if I'm going to let go, I have to let go 100% and not a single percent less. I owe it to myself to finally put the past three and a half years to rest so that I can focus all of my energy and attention on the future. But it's hard...just as hard right now as the day he left.

In life, sometimes we're the chasers and the clingers and the ones who will go down with the sinking ship rather than jump off to save ourselves. Other times we're the ones being chased. But whichever role we play, we have to know when it's time for the final curtain. And in all seriuosness, I know that that time has come for us...for the sake of my sanity and the sake of my happiness...for the sake of my future and for the sake of preserving the good memories I have from our time together.

And it also doesn't help that it's a Monday...bleh.

Just one of those weeks...

On the morning show I do, we have a stunt guy named Juan Valdez. His job is to act like a moron and make people laugh. We sent him out on Friday with some High School Musical on Ice tickets and just because I think it's funny...here's a picture I took of him before he left to go out on the streets.

And speaking of work, here's a common misconception about radio personalities: that we lead very exciting and glamorous lives. The truth is that it's 8:36 on a Saturday night and I have no where to go, no one to hang out with. It's a lot lonelier than I ever thought it could be. I've lived here for 8 months and of course I've met some people...but I'm a homebody who likes being domestic...I miss having friends come over for drinks, dinner and movies on the couch. I miss sleep-overs and playing board games. Maybe it's the absence of the significant other that's left a gaping whole...a void...that I can't seem to fill. Or maybe it's just time to grow up and understand that in life you have to make sacrifices. I sacrificed the familiarity of home for the pursuit of a radio career. After four years, I still get homesick...especially on nights like tonight.

Anyways, speaking of the (ex) significant other...he's coming up here tomorrow to watch the Super Bowl. I have mixed feelings about it. We split up almost one year ago. Then a few weeks ago we spent Christmas and New Year's together which made me realize that we're past the point of no return...or so I thought. Then he started expressing an interest in coming to this Super Bowl Party with me. It's at a place called Center Court with an ex-NBA player named Chris Webber (he owns the restaurant). Anyways, I'm taking him to this event tomorrow, that I have to go to for work, which means he's going to meet all of my co-workers and he will officially exist in my "new life" in Sacramento. Up until this point, he's only been relevant in the context of my "old life" which was the life I had in Modesto. It's a bizarre collision...the past and the present. I don't know yet if taking him to our Big Game Party tomorrow is a smart idea. It could either go well...or...not well.

And to be completely honest, I have very selfish reasons for wanting him to come. For those of you who don't know, my ex is a male model. Not like an Armani underwear model...but like a McAfee Anti-Theft File Protection box model. Don't believe me? Check this out:

That's him. Walk into any Best Buy and you can pick up the box and see for yourself. He's also done work for GNC, Men's Wearhouse, Blue Marlin and a few other companies. Anyways, the point of all this is that the people I work with probably think I'm lying when I tell them what he does so I figure if he comes with me tomorrow, I can finally prove to everyone that I'm not making this stuff up. I can prove that he does exist and that, in fact, the chubby radio girl really did used to get it on with a hot tamale. I told you it was selfish. I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow.

Plus, I need to have a little fun...the past couple of days at work have royally sucked. I've had run-ins with rude callers (plural, as in there have been multiple), my boss, another co-worker and of course, then there's the information I learned about my roommate (see last post for that story)...so needless to say it's just been one of those weeks.

Go Steelers.

This is insane! Really, really insane!

Just when I think my life can't possibly get any more crazy something like THIS (what I'm about to tell you) happens. Yesterday we had an in-studio with Katy Perry and before every interview, I try to do a little research...so as to avoid a run-in like the one I had with Jamie Kennedy. My Jamie Kennedy story is too long to go into right now but I will tell you this, it ended with me telling him that Punk'D was way better (and more successful) than the Jamie Kennedy Experiment, which is probably why people watched it and it didn't get cancelled the way his show did. I like to refer to that interview as the JK Smackdown. Whatever. He needed it.

Anyways, with Katy I was having to look a few things up to make sure I knew which Grammy category she was nominated for - it's Best Female Pop Vocal for I Kissed a Girl, in case you were wondering - stuff like that. I also had to think up of some new questions at the last minute because they sent over the list of off-limit-topics and of course, most of what I was going to ask her was on the list. No talking about Travis McCoy, no mentioning the Matrix cd on iTunes, etc...well, while I was doing my research I missed a call from an Unavailable number on my cell phone. After the interview I listened to the message and it was from the Public Defender's office in Washington DC.

Now, keep in mind...I got this call on my CELL PHONE. My heart stopped beating. My mind started racing. What the fuck have I done that I'm in trouble with the government for and an attorney is calling me on my cell phone for??? The message I got asked me to call them back and after a few moments of panic-stricken nail biting (see picture) .


BTW - My finger is sore today because I bit the nail so low. Anyways, when I called back the lady on the phone asked me to confirm that my roommate and I lived at 4239 Yadda Yadda Dr. I said yes and then asked if everything was ok. Keep in mind, she knew my name, my roommates name AND our exact address. She told me that everything was fine but that my roommate had been subpoenaed to testify in a hearing and she just needed to confirm our address.

After I got off the phone with her I sent a text to my roommate. I said, "Hey I just wanted to give you a heads up. I got a call from the public defender's office in DC and they wanted to confirm your/our address...everything ok?" She texted me right back with, "What did you tell them?" At that point, I knew something was up. I wrote her back, "They totally caught me off-guard...they knew our names and address so I said yes...that we lived there."

Then she called me.

Are you ready for what I'm going to tell you next? Hold on to your hats my friends...

She explained to me that she's in witness protection because she has to testify on behalf of the prosecution for a MURDER trial coming up in March. She explained to me the difference between federal witness protection (when you have to change your identity and cut-off all contact with people from your past) and just regular witness protection when the government pays for you to move somewhere and they help protect your identity so that if someone tries to look you up, they won't be able to find you...or at least, they'd have a hard time tracking you down. Unfortunately, my roommate just bought a car...they traced it to our address...then to my name on the lease...and then to my CELL PHONE number. How creepy is that? They aren't supposed to be able to find her but because she used her real name when she bought her car they traced her (through me) and now she said the District Attorney's office in DC might have to relocate her again. AND, to top it off, the public defender who is trying to prove the murderer's innocence (the person she is testifying against) knows where we live!

Someone upstairs must get a big kick out of putting me in awkward living situations. What am I supposed to do now? Seriously, what do I do? Part of me feels like she should have mentioned that she's in witness protection before she moved-in with me but then I guess that would kind of defeat the purpose of being a protected witness, right? Am I at risk? Am I in danger? Oh fuck me sideways with a wooden spoon! Don't get me wrong, I love her to death...she's a great roommate...but FUCK. What do I do? Nothing? Something? And if so, what?

Just when I thought I had gotten all of the psycho roommate situations out of my system! Not that she's psycho, but I mean the situation...it's kinda psycho. This is the kind of stuff you see in movies. And I've already survived one super duper crazy (like, mental) roommate...WTF?

Oh Holy Hell.

I haven't checked in for a few days. The good news is that now I have a lot to talk about. The bad news is that most of it is going to be stress-filled whining and complaining. Take it or leave it. Honestly, I'm not even sure where to start. Might as well start with this morning. It was raining when I woke up. My other dog (not Parker) is named Moxie and she has been crapping all over my house when I leave to go to work...I guess she gets very nervous and/or anxious...anyways, I decided I probably needed to start crating her again when I leave and I thought that her crate was in the trunkof my car. When I went to get it, it wasn't there. So I decided to take her to with (it's just for one day, right?) and off we went. I stopped for coffee at Starbucks around 4:55 am and as I was sitting in line at the drive-thru...yes, there was a line at the Starbuks drive-thru at 4:55 in the morning...I saw the KCRA news van sitting not too far away. There as a reporter and a camera guy standing in the rain...obviously doing a segment about the rain....guess it was a slow news day. The whole time I was thinking to myself, "Oh holy hell! They better not think they're going to interview me with NO makeup on and a head full of unwashed hair piled on top of my head!"

Sure as shit, as I got my cup of coffee and tried to pull forward, the young perky reporter (in full makeup, in the rain, in her cute little rain suit) all but jumped in front of my car to flag me down. The camea guy ran up, shoving his camera in my face and she started asking me moronic questions like, "What does the rain mean to you?" and "I see you drive a convertible, guess you won't be putting the top down today, how else is the rain affecting your plans?" Keep in mind it was 4:55 in the morning, I had crusty's in both eyes AND saying that I looked like a homeless person would be an understatement. I probably looked more like someone who had just escaped from the insane asylum! I'm not kidding...I'm not one of those girls who can get away with not wearing any makeup. I applaud those who can, but I ain't one of them. When you work in radio, it gives youthe perfect excuse to say oh fuck it, I get up at the ass crack of dawn and I'm going to go to work looking like a looney tune if I feel like it!

So I continue on to work, praying the whole way that they'll cut out my interview...not likely considering they LOVED that I had Moxie in the car with me.

To make a long story short...I have no idea if they ever wound up airing it...but it was a nightmare, worst-case-scenario if I've ever experienced one.

Add in to the mix the fact that I feel generally overwhelmed right now...a feeling that always seems to coincide with PMS and comes close to invoking a full-blown anxiety attack. I bite all my nails off. I'm like a raging hormone-aholic. And to top it off, I just finished my bag of peanuts as I stumbled across an article about Salmonella in peanut butter. Oh holy hell. Wouldn't that just be the icing on the cake?

There is one little beacon of positivity I'd like to mention. I have successfully written my first screenplay. Don't laugh. I'm trying to find people (I trust) to read and help me revise it right now. Who knows, maybe someday I'll be brave enough to post it on here...

Anyways, the main reason I wanted to check-in on here is to get this out of my system. Here's the deal: I mentioned earlier that while I was living in Modesto I very stupidly bought a house there. This, of course, was right before the housing market crashed so I am upside down on it right now...and when I say upside down...I mean, like $65,000 upside down. Since I can't sell it, I've been renting it out. The two guys who were living there both decided to move out recently (one went down to San Diego and the other bought a house of his own). I've been looking for new tenants and the whole process is making me bat shit crazy.

The major problem is that my mortgage and HOA's are about $1450 per month but other places in my neighborhood are renting for $1000. Trying to be crafty, I thought I could get more bang for the buck by renting out both rooms individually and including utilities in the rent (since they're all still in my name) to make it sound like a great deal. I've been charging $700 for the master bedroom and $600 for the smaller one. It doesn't take a math whiz to see that even though I'm getting $1300 for the place, I'm still minus $150 per month PLUS all of the utilities on the place....so all in all, I'd say it's about $300 out of my pocket every month just to hold on to the place until the market turns back around.

Follow?

Anyways, I have found two females who want to move in on February 1st and so far they have managed to royally piss me off over petty, insignificant crap. It'll get me too worked up to go into all of the details of it right now so I'm going to stop....

And for the sake of your sanity and mine, I'm going stop bitching and I'm going to leave you with a picture I took of Moxie hanging out in the studio with me today...so damn cute!

And isn't it ironic...don't ya think?

Well, of all the ironies in life...

A couple of months ago I was told that I'd be doing mornings AND middays at the new radio station I work for. I'm on the air from 5:30 in the morning until 2:00 in the afternoon. It's not manual labor or even slightly difficult work but it is double the hours I was previously working for no extra money. Our morning show ends at 10:00 and while I watch my partners head home between 11:00 and 11:30, I can't help but get a little bitter...knowing that I still have a couple of hours to go.

Listen, I'm not delusional. A monkey could do my job. It's not hard. And I'm employed, which I'm extremely thankful for right now...so I hope this doesn't come off sounding too whiny. I know this is part of the due-paying process and I'm prepared to pay them diligently.

Anyways, here in Sacramento we get our ratings every three months. Our ratings tell us "how good of a job we're doing" even though the data is semi-accurate (at best). I will have you know that my midday show, is the #1 rated midday show in all of Sacramento...which is great...but it would definitely be greater if it meant I'd be getting something for it! And isn't it ironic, don't ya think?

It was still exciting. I went out to celebrate last night by taking Parker to get his doggie enema (insert sarcasm here). It had been a whole week since he had taken a dump. When he finally crapped, it came out looking like chocolate pudding (enjoy your Snack Pack today) and I dry heaved all around the outside, dog-walking area at his vet's office. Another $70 spent and all they did was stick a nozzle up his backside and squirt some liquid in him...rip off!

So I guess the moral of the story is that sometimes being #1 is only good for a pat on the back...and sometimes you're better at the things you weren't hired to do...but at least my dog FINALLY had a bowel movement!

PS - I have discovered a major problem with my Snuggie. It generates/creates more static than a damn turbine! I still like it. I still get made fun of for wearing it. It's not about the fashion my friends, it's all about the comfort.

I love my Snuggie.

Now, before you judge my decision to buy a Snuggie, let me explain how I got this ----------------->

We've all seen the commercial on TV and whether you're willing to admit it or not, at least a small part of you has thought, "Man...I could use that Snuggie when I'm _________" (insert laying on the couch, camping, at the game, or whatever other action verb you choose to partake in). Most of us, however, would never actually call the 800 number and buy one.

Flash forward to 5:00 this morning. I stopped at Walgreen's to buy a Diet Coke before work and wouldn't you know...there on the shelf...in all their glory...was a display of Snuggie's! It was early, the store was empty and no one would see me buy it, so I tucked one under my arm and marched up to the check-out. The guy laughed at me (which is exactly what I would expect him to do) and then I came to work. As I'm sitting here typing this, I'm wearing my Snuggie and I will not lie...I LOVE it. It's very warm. It's like a full body fleece poncho with sleeves to stick your arms through. I wish it clasped in the back somehow but oh well.

PS - Parker still hasn't taken a dump.

PPS - They also sell an assortment of other "As Seen on TV" products at Walgreens...Kinoki Foot Pads, Ped Eggs, Aqua Globes, etc. I will be going back after work today to buy more useless crap!

Parker Poop.

Puppy is still pitiful. They took his cast off his leg this morning, which means they also took his Fentanyl patch off...a morphine pain patch which, incidentally, causes constipation. Parker hasn't crapped since Tuesday and now I'm having to give him canned pumpkin from the grocery store to try and make him poop. If that doesn't work, we're going to have to resort to a doggie enema!?!? I didn't even know those existed. I can tell his little tummy hurts because it's making all kinds of funny noises. I'm feeding him canned pumpkin at every meal because the last thing I want to do is put a nozzle up my dog's ass so he can spray poo all over the place. Gross. I get the willies just thinking about it. At least we're almost a full week into the "healing process" which means he'll be back to his old self in no time.

On a completely unrelated note, I'm faced with a big decision right now. I've been in California for almost 4 years now. Recently, my dad has proposed that we go into business together. He would be the investing partner and I would be the managing partner. It would mean leaving behind my life in the wild west to go back home. I've started making a list of pro's and con's on both sides. I'm looking for definitive clarity. It's nowhere to be found.

Since I've been working in radio I've met some of the most famous people in the world. I've been to the Grammy's. I've gone on two free cruises to Mexico. I've done New Year's in Lake Tahoe and run wild through the streets of San Francisco. I've met amazing people. I've gotten lots of free stuff. I've been in three TV commercials and I've seen Bobby Lee naked. I'd have to give all of that up. On the flip side, I've always dreamed of owning my own business and now my dad is offering me the chance to achieve that goal without me having to come up with all of the money I'd have to have (which I don't have) if I were trying to do it by myself.

I won't be making the decision any time in the near future. It's definitely something I'll be marinating over for the next couple of months. Life is about making decisions and the hard part is not knowing in advance if you're making the best choice. What if I get home and hate it? What if I pass on the chance to go home and the window of opportunity closes and I wind up kicking myself for not going? What if I walk away from radio and miss out on a huge career? I make myself crazy with these questions...

Well, tomorrow it's back to the grind. Let's all hope Parker has a bowel movement tonight!

Seriously, did that really just happen?

Today was one of those very strange days that leaves you scratching your head and asking, "Seriously, did that really just happen?" We had a guy named Bobby Lee come in (he's one of the MADtv cast members) because he's doing a stand-up comedy tour and is performing at the Punchline in Sacramento all weekend. I've seen a lot of random things happen in the few short years I've been working in radio but the randomness of today left me speechless...literally.

I don't remember what provoked it, but out of nowhere, Bobby Lee decided to get naked in the middle of our studio. When he started taking off his shirt, I laughed. When he started unzipping his pants, I laughed harder. When he dropped his pants, I expected to see his chones but there were none. He stood there, BUTT ASS NAKED, in the middle of the room...and of course I grabbed my cell phone and started taking pictures!

I still laugh uncontrollably when I look at the picture...and I know I could never do the story justice, when I tell it in the future, without photographic evidence to prove that it actually happened. Seriously, did that really just happen?

I also learned a very important message over the past couple of days. I have learned that taking a small cute dog (Parker) with a cast on his leg (see picture in last post) to work with me has made me quite popular. I was riding up the elevator earlier today and there was a super hot guy who decided to tell me all about his Rottweiler (sp) who had a similar surgery due to a torn ligament in his knee. I decided at that point that, injured or not, Parker will wear his cast indefinitely and I will bring him to work with me everyday. When super hot guy got off on the 3rd floor, I looked at Parker and gave him a little mini high five for a job well done! Nice work, my friend.

The things we do for love...

This is the reason (above) I sold my California King Sleep Number Bed by Select Comfort. The $6,000 bed I got FOR FREE when I endoresed Sleep Train Mattress Center was one of my most prized possessions...I had to sell one "love of my life" to pay for the other love of my life's surgery. The things we do for love...



I slept on the couch for a few nights before deciding that was not fun...at all...so I went to one of those factory direct warehouses and bought a new bed for less than I sold my old one for. The guys at the "store" were acting like shady used-car salesmen so I decided to threaten them to get them to act right. Now, I'm not a "you don't know who you're messing with" kind of person but in the face of feeling completely screwed with and taken advantage of, I pulled out my trump card. I said, "If you guys try to fuck me over, I swear to God I will go on the radio and tell all of Sacramento how seedy, sketchy and shitty your business is. If you think I'm joking, try me."



Needless to say, I wound up leaving with the bed I wanted at a price I was willing to pay.



I use the word "store" in air quotes because it wasn't really a store at all...more like some Mafia run, back-alley, illegal operation staffed with meat-head guidos accessorized in gold chains and other token bling items. I don't really care where all the stuff came from so long as I don't have to give my bed back without a full refund. If the police come knocking, I'm singing like a canary.



Anyways, not much is going on this week. I have to go to Modesto on Saturday to show my house to new potential renters. I found out today that my Homeowner's Association is suing the builder's of our neighborhood for faulty and/or negligent construction and I got forms in the mail today from an attorney's office about the situation. One of the things I'm hoping to learn how to do this year is get rich quick so I may be well on my way...who knows! A girl can dream...

And finally, in a strange turn of events...said "ex" who broke my heart (see last post) has seemingly had a change of heart...perhaps not fully, but I will explain more later. I don't feel lik getting into it right now.

Already late.

It's January 3rd which means I'm already three days late starting this. I used to write posts on Myspace but I had to be careful about what I said. I guess there are just some things that not everyone needs to know...like my dad...more specifically...who began reading them. So I'm back to where I started - on here. It was this exact same site I used to come to, almost four years ago, when I first moved to California to write about my new life in the wild west. I wish I could find some of those old posts. They would probably be good for a laugh. It's hard for me to remember the first few months I spent out here. It all feels like a lifetime ago. It's like I have memories of certain events that took place...but I'm not convinced they were actually real.


Well, let's start at the beginning for the newcomers.


I'm a radio dj. That's why I moved to California in the first place. My real name is Megan but I go by Reagan on the radio. It's an alias (most of us use them) and sometimes an alter-ego. The very short version of a long story goes something like this:


May of 2005 - Graduated from college and moved to Modesto...yes THAT Modesto...to co-host a morning show on a radio station. It's a very smll town with a bad reputation, for good reason. I worked with two assholes who I didn't like very much. I didn't like them because they tried to get me fired. But of all the great ironies in life, their plan backfired. One of them got fired, the other got taken off of mornings and moved to afternoons. I got to start a new chapter with a new partner. He was much easier to work with and we took our show to number 1 in a very short period of time. I made more money, got a promotion, became a music director, bought a house, fell in love with a boy and subsequently, got my heart broken...not necessarily in that order.


This all lead to a job offer in Sacramento, CA.

(Side note: Modesto is #108 as far as radio markets go. There are approximately 317 Arbitron rated radio markets in the U.S. The lower the number, the bigger the market. New York City is #1 and the Florida Keys are #317, just to put it all in perspective. Sacramento is #27 which was a huge jump for me. I was beyond excited about making the jump.)


May 2008 - Accepted job in Sacramento.

June 2008 - Moved to Sacramento.

September 2008 - Company transferred me to a different station, still in Sacramento, just working with different people.

November 2008 - Was told I'd be doing mornings AND middays for no extra pay. This means I'm on the air from 5:30 in the morning until 2:00 in the afternoon. But hey, I'm lucky to be employed and sometimes I like doing both. I just wish pulling double-duty meant I'd be getting paid a double salary. So far, that's a no-go.

January 2009 - The present.

In the first three days of 2009 I have successfully read the entire screenplay of Revolutionary Road online, which is amazing. I also sold my California King Sleep Number bed by Select Comfort to pay for my dogs second knee surgery (which means I have nothing to sleep on right now) and I have entered to win the HGTV dream home three times at www.hgtv.com - I am harnessing the power of The Secret to help me win it.

This year is going to be interesting.