Ms. Grinch

We're having an ugly sweater holiday party at work this year. Everyone is acting like this is some amazingly original idea, which it is not. I don't have the heart to tell them that people have been doing these types of soirees for years. The impending party, however, presents a problem for me as I do not own a sweater of the Christmas persuasion...ugly or otherwise. So I've decided to make my own instead of purchasing one from God-knows-where. This is the picture I will be using:

These are actually two of my coworkers and this is the (photoshopped) picture used on the party invitation that has been circulating around our office. The guy in the blue is my boss and the guy in the red is our producer. I hope I win the ugly sweater contest...I think you get a $10 gift card or something for winning and if nothing else, I should get points or creativity. And if I'm not able to pull it off, I have a back-up plan. My plan B is a t-shirt which simply reads, "Happy Birthday Sweet Litte 8 Pound 6 Ounce Baby Jesus." I'm somewhat concerned that that shirt would offend some of the hardcore thumpers I work with...but I would think it was funny...and even if I didn't win with that one, I think it would be a nice conversation piece.

Well one of the things I will never get used to (living in California) is Christmas on the West Coast. They put lights on palm trees!

Not only that, but I saw a guy dressed up like Santa Claus...he was one of those sign holders who stands on a street corner advertising for stuff...anyways he had the beard, the hat, the glasses, the black gloves...and then he had on red gym shorts and flip flops. WTF...it's Christmas...put on some damn red velvet pants and black boots for Christ's sake!

One thing I have to admit, is that the holidays make me a little testy. It's got to be some kind of weird combination of holiday stress mixed with general exhaustion resulting from too many months of working with no vacation time...add in some cold weather and the obligatory gift-giving traditions with friends, family and coworkers...I tell you, it's enough to make me a little nutty. I gave some poor woman the "death stare" in Target the other day because she couldn't decide which Zhu Zhu pet to buy. Lady, it's a robotic hamster...it does not matter to little Timmy Tommy if you get Mr. Squiggles or Num Nums or Chunk or Pipsqueak...two weeks from now when these stupid little toys are irrelevant and your kid doesn't want anything to do with them anymore you'll regret wasting your time (and mine) deciding which one to buy...now move your damn cart out of my way before I hurl this economy size bottle of Ultra Tide 96 Load at your head!

See what I mean? Testy.

Well, I better get back to work now. I'm starting to get myself all worked up.