Wish me luck.

Today was a good day...

I figured I'd start with something positive because when I go back and read my previous posts all I can think is, "Good God I whine a lot."

I don't think I ever did the brief summary of what life has been like back in sleepy little Charleston, SC since the beginning of the year. So here goes: New Year's came and went. Next thing I knew it was Valentine's Day. Right on the heels of VDay, came Easter...then mom's birthday, Mother's Day, Father's Day, mom and dad's anniversary, 4th of July and now my dad's birthday is right around the corner. In the midst of all this, I moved off the Isle of Palms and into a place near Daniel Island. That was the beginning of May. When I moved, I decided to redo my room. The picture you see is Orion the Hunter. I guess that's somewhat symbolic and represents my spot in life at the moment, although it hasn't brought me much luck in the bedroom so far.

You haven't missed anything big. My life is a series of early morning alarm clock rings...followed by stumbling around in the dark, cursing when I stub my toe, fumbling with the coffee maker, getting in and out of the shower, attempting to apply makeup and/or fix hair, walking the dogs and hitting the road by 4:30 a.m. Everyone thinks they'd like to have my job but the reality is far less glamorous than the fantasy. But there I go starting to whine again...

I did flex my creative muscles recently and decided to make a Youtube video in response to all of the marines asking celebrities to attend the Marine Corps Ball with them this year. I made a video of my own and it has kind of taken on a life of its own.



This is why I love what I do. Because I get to play with expensive cameras, recording equipment and just be me. What's interesting about this video, is that I've actually gotten several invitations to the ball. A bunch in Jacksonville, NC...a couple in D.C. and even one in Okinawa, Japan.

This past weekend I went to Wilmington (only for the second time since October) and spent time with my family. My brother was in Nicaragua so my parents and I stayed at his house. It was over the course of this weekend I realized my mom and I have the EXACT same nose. Only took me 30 years to see it.

Anyways, I've decided to start a new blog. This one will still be here but the "new blog" will be devoted almost entirely to a very specific cause. Curious? Check it out for yourself:

http://dateadj.blogspot.com/

Hopefully, those who read it will find it cute and funny...satirical but also somehow candid and honest. Wish me luck.

Hurry up.

There's no way I could catch you up on the last 6 or 7 months in one post. It's simply not possible. But I'm still here and still feeling very much the same. Most days, everything's fine. I'm generally happy, pretty much content and very much optimistic about the future.

But then there are those days...like today...where I wake up feeling lost, sad, uncertain, worried and filled with self-doubt. I'm not sure where this anxiety laden antsy-ness comes from. It's like an untapped energy source I have no control over. It decides when and where it wants to rear it's ugly head. I don't know how else to describe it except to say that it makes me feel like I'm about to jump out of my own skin. I want to get away but don't know where to go. I want to be someone else but have no clue who that person is. I want to scream but I open my mouth and nothing comes out. The good news is, these moments of intense distress seem to pass pretty quickly and then I'm back to my normal self.

I'm also busy. Very busy. I've never worked so hard for so little in my entire life. I knew that coming back home was going to be an adjustment. I knew it I'd be working more and earning less but I had no idea I'd struggle as much as I have...to survive...financially.

I can also positively tell you that I'm getting closer and closer to feeling ready to settle...not settle for just anything (or the first thing that comes along) but settle down...should the right person come along. I see it happening to the people around me. My single friends are dropping like flies. And I'm happy for them...for the most part. I want what they have, but I also know that having it comes at a price. That price, is called sacrifice. In the past I wasn't willing to give up anything in my life to have a life with someone else. Now I see things a little differently. Maybe that has come with maturity or maybe it's just being more realistic about what it takes to "make it work." It's not that I don't think you can have it all. I'm sure you can. But I'm not sure I want (or need) to have it all. Sounds depressing, I know. What I mean is that as I get older my wants and needs have started to change. I'm willing to give up a little in one department of my life to have more in another. Does that make sense?

Now it's just a matter of sitting quietly, patiently and gratefully for the right thing to come along. I wish it would hurry up.

Where did she go...

Where did she go? That little girl who thirsted for everything and wanted for nothing. Where did she run off to? Or did she abandon me long ago and I've been too wrapped up in everyday life to notice she's been gone for quite some time?

And if, in fact, she is gone where do I find her?

Should I try to lure her back with promises that she won't be neglected anymore? Or was she taken; preyed upon with malicious intent; stolen in the night while I slept (sans rest) in my bed.

If that doesn't work, maybe a missing persons poster.

LOST: Inner child who nourished my soul.
LAST SEEN: Can't remember.
If found, please call.
Reward offered on all legitimate leads.