My Tahoe Epiphany

So nobody likes the bedding I picked out. TJ hates them all and Jenny B said #2 was ok but that the others looked like something you'd see at your grandmother's house. That being said, the search continues.

Today is Wednesday. It has taken me almost three whole days to find the time to sit down and write this. This past week was interesting. First there was the trip to Tahoe...and don't worry...I've got plenty to say about that, then we have the Monkeyfeather update (which is starting to make me nervous) and last, but certainly not least, there's the huge milestone in my life that I've got to tell you all about.

TAHOE: The plan was for everyone to meet in Fair Oaks at 3:00 p.m. Friday afternoon so that we could beat rush hour traffic. I left work at 1:00 and went straight home to pack/let the dogs out. I had the house/pet sitter lined-up, I had my car cleaned out (so I could drive through the mountains with the top down) and I had approximately one hour to get the rest done. I figured that if I left at 2:30, I would make it with a few minutes to spare. Keep in mind, that I only knew one of the other six girls going on this trip so I didn't want to be late because I didn't want them to be sitting around waiting for me...it's not a good first impression. I wound up leaving at 2:40 and was already stressed because my GPS kept giving me an ETA of 3:07.

Like I said, I HATE being late. It doesn't matter if it's work or a movie or anything else...my mom was ALWAYS late to everything when I was growing up so now I make it a point to be on-time, if not early, to wherever I'm going.

I got to Fair Oaks and nobody was at the meeting place except for Katie's sister Jenny P. What? I thought I was a couple of minutes late but apparently, I had somehow arrived first. As I was sitting at Jenny's in-law's house (they were watching Jenny's son Carson so that's why we all met there) I watched the clock tick by...3:30 came and went...3:45 came and went...I started getting slightly annoyed because I realized that I could have taken my time but it wasn't the end of the world. The rest of the group arrived over the next few minutes and we hit the road around 4:15.

To get to Lake Tahoe from Sacramento, you take Hwy 50 east. It's a straight shot. However, Hot August Nights was going on in Reno the same weekend we were going to Tahoe and because of all the road construction on I-80 (which is how you'd get to Reno), there was double the normal amount of traffic on 50. Wonderful.

I drove my car separately because I knew I was going to have to get up Saturday morning and go to Bank of America to get all of my debit card crap taken care of...plus the idea of being stuck with a group of girls in a hotel suite for the weekend without an escape plan made me nervous...like I said before, I only knew one of the prior to the trip.

We finally made it to Tahoe around 6:45 which really wasn't too bad. It was still light outside and the weather was amazing. Once we checked-in, we decided to let Katie open all of her presents before heading to dinner. We were all told to bring Katie lingerie (it was a bachelorette party, afterall) and what I bought for her was...by far...the hottest. All of the other girls bought cotton tank tops with things like "Soon to be Mrs." written on them or some other lame stuff...which is all well and good as I respect the practicality angle...but I decided to get her something that she'll wear for 2.2 seconds before winding up on the bedroom floor and for that reason, I didn't think comfort and/or practicality were all that important.

After the panty party we went to dinner at The Naked Fish...a very trendy sushi restaurant in South Lake Tahoe. It wasn't until we were sitting at dinner, and everyone was talking about the weekend of events, that I started asking myself: When did I become so un-fun? No seriously, what the fuck happened to me? None of what they were talking about sounded remotely entertaining to me but I had to keep reminding myself that this was Katie's weekend, not mine. As we sat there I gave myself a quiet little pep-talk. I said, "Just go with the flow and try to enjoy yourself. If Katie's having a good time, that's all that matters."

Here's a fun fact about me...I'm allergic to avocado...which really sucks because I think it's super delicious...but when I eat it my chest gets tight, I can't breathe and I feel like I'm dying. Sushi restaurants put avocado on almost everything. So when I order sushi, I always have to specifically ask for "no avocado." Well, the group of girls thought it would be easier for us to order as a table instead of individually. I was trying to be a good sport so when the girl ordering asked if there was anything anyone didn't like, I said that I couldn't have avocado but that it wasn't a huge deal for me to just pick it off. I thought she would say, "Oh in that case, why don't you just order your own because everything I'm about to order comes with avocado." That didn't happen.

The sushi came. I picked out as much avocado as I could and thought, perhaps, I'd be ok. WRONG. I ate two pieces of sushi and almost instantly my chest started getting tight and because I felt like I was going into cardiac arrest, I passed on the sake bombs and other alcoholic beverages.

Then the bill came. Listen, I don't think I'm a cheap person...but...I wasn't too keen on paying $50 (my part of the bill) for two pieces of sushi that almost killed me and alcohol I didn't drink. Whatever, it's Katie's weekend.

After dinner, the group wanted to go to Cabo Wabo...my worst nightmare. When I was 19 I would have thought that Cabo Wabo was God's gift to the world. Now that I'm almost 30 I'd rather get a pap smear than spend my Friday night in a cheap well-drink serving, loud and crowded bar full of drunk, horny idiots. Keep in mind, too, my chest is still tight and I'm having trouble breathing...not emergency room worthy or anything...because I only ate a little bit...but I definitely should have gone back to the room and layed down so that I could be still and breathe slowly and deeply. So we're all standing in Cabo Wabo when a group of young(ish) guys decide they are going to "grind" up against us. The girls in my group seemed to be enjoying them so I tried really hard to tolerate it while subtly making my way to the perimeter of the circle. Too bad I backed right into one of them, which he mistook as a cue to start thrusting his pelvis at me. I tried to get around him, but he wasn't having it. Finally, through the pain of my avocado allergy attack and his obscene thrusting, I looked at him and said, "If you jab me in the hip with your hard-on one more time I am going to stab you in the jugular."

That's my sense of humor. I was, very sarcastically, letting him know to back the fuck off. Would you like to guess what he said in response? Go ahead, you'll never guess....

He said, "If you stab me I'll rape you."

WHAT???? I was speechless. Ummm, I know that what I said wasn't that funny (even though in my mind it was) but you threatening to rape me is even not funnier than what I said. I thought, "No, this fucker did not just give me a dose of my own medicine!?!?" I didn't stick around long enough to find out what the outcome of that situation would have been. I excused myself from Cabo Wabo to use the restroom...conveniently located on the casino floor...and while in the bathroom I texted Katie to let her know that I'd be at a Craps table and to come find me when they were ready to leave.

Saturday morning the girls wanted to go to Zephyr Cove but they wanted to leave early because it gets so crowded by 10:00. Well I had to go to Bank of America so I told them I'd meet them down there. For the first (and probably only) time in my life I was relieved when I got to the bank and found that there was only one customer service rep working. I was sixth in line...fine...great...take your time. No hurry. The guy in front of my had a similar story about his card getting stolen so we sat and talked about how annoying it was for almost an hour while the one person working helped the other people in line before us. Despite the night I had had before, I looked around the bank Saturday morning and realized, so this is where all of the good looking men in Northern California are hiding. They were everywhere!

Those who know me, know that I like 'em a little bit older and there was a straight up JFK Jr. who had me drooling...henceforth, I will be hanging out at the Bank of America in South Lake Tahoe every weekend...jk.

I left the bank and went to meet my group at Zephyr Cove but once I got there I called three times, left a message and sent a text, which all went unreturned, so I just hung out by myself for the morning. It was so crowded that there was no way I was ever going to find them. I wound up meeting some really nice people from the Bay area and took a little nap on the beach bfore heading to Harrah's to play some blackjack.

I won over $200. I was happy.

At 5:00 in the afternoon the girls called to let me know that they didn't have any cell reception at the cove and that they were so sorry they had missed my calls. Secretly, I was glad that I had gotten to have some "me time" without them. We all started to get ready in the one bathroom we were sharing among the 7 of us...which was not fun...Katie's weekend...deal with it. The problem is that I didn't grow up with sisters. I had an older brother and I never had to share anything with him. I always had my own bedroom, bathroom, wing of the house, etc...so sharing is not my strong point. But I did my best to be quick and stay out of everyone's way. I am proud to report that I was ready...start to finish...in less than 45 minutes while the other girls took over 3 hours to shower and get dressed.

Anyways, Saturday night the plan was to go to Club Vex. I wanted to go see the Chicago and Earth, Wind & Fire concert...I know, I'm an animal...Katie's weekend...Club Vex it is. We got to the club and I found myself thoroughly amused by the people in attendance. I did some people watching...and while I was distracted by some tool in an Ed Hardy shirt trying to flirt with one of the go-go dancers, my group left me! I turned around and they were gone. I looked in the bathroom...and when I didn't see them I went back to play more blackjack where I won another $100.

Sunday morning we checked out of the hotel and headed home. Katie rode back with her sister so it was just me, the gorgeous scenery and more amazing weather. I drove home with my top down and my music up...it might just have been my favorite part of the whole weekend. I find so much comfort in being alone with my thoughts...it gave me time to just think.

You know, as I've gotten older my life has become more boring...and I'm ok with that. I've mellowed-out. I'm more low-key and who cares if I don't enjoy loud nightclubs anymore...things change, people change and this weekend I realized how much I've changed...my Tahoe epiphany. I just hope this is where I plateau, otherwise I'll be playing chess with myself, in my living room, on the weekends by the time I'm 35.

The rest of the stuff I was going to tell you about will have to wait. This has gotten entirely too long and I've got to call it a night.