Case in point.

This hasn't been my month for blogging. It's either becuase I've been uninspired or nothing even remotely interesting has happened to me that would be worth writing about. As I sit here, I really don't have anything to say...but there's nothing on TV tonight besides America's Got Talent, which I don't find the least bit interesting, and The Way We Were which stands, to date, as one of the most devastating movies I've ever seen...move over Schindler's List.

I've spent the past couple of weeks hosting and judging the California State Karaoke Championships at the CA State Fair. I totally gave this one guy extra points for singing Amazed by Lonestar because he looked like Dennis Quaid...who I think is a total sweet potato and DILF...even though he wasn't the best singer. So what if I gave him a few extra points for being sexy? Whatever. The best person wound up winning the whole thing anyways. I had never seen people take karaoke so seriously. It was a $5,000 cash prize (cue the seriousness) and the winner advanced to the regionals in Seattle...ultimately hoping to get to the national level of competition.

I also threw my back out over Labor Day weekend. I tried picking up a big box full of books because it had been sitting on my living room floor since my move and I haven't tracked down a bookshelf that I can tolerate yet so I just wanted to put the box in one of my guest room closets to get it out of the way. I didn't realize how bad it was at first, I mean I definitely felt it when I tried to pick the box up...but I didn't fall to the ground in pain or anything. Once I determined that moving the box by myself was, indeed, a bad idea I decided to go take a nap. It wasn't until I woke up from the name Monday afternoon that I thought, "Oh shit...this is bad."

Ready for this to go from an uninteresting story to totally tasteless and wildly inappropriate? It's my forte, what can I say? So Monday night my back started to hurt pretty bad. I popped a couple of Tylenol and called it a night.

When I woke up Tuesday morning I didn't think I was going to be able to get out of bed because I couldn't move...literally. I almost started crying because I had to pee so bad I thought I was going to wet the bed. I couldn't even sit up. I wound up having to kinda roll out of bed to avoid trying to stand up...I crawled into the bathroom on all fours...very slowly...and somehow figured out how to pull myself up. Forget trying to wipe my own ass...it was torture. It took me 20 minutes to do what should have taken me 30 seconds to take care of. Getting dressed was a whole different story. Forget it. I thought I was going to have to call-in sick to work because I couldn't put my clothes on.

Lo and behold I made it through the day. Jay gave me some Vicodin to take which eased the pain but made me feel drunk. I almost fell asleep behind the board during my midday show and because I hadn't eaten anything all day, the pain medication also made me feel incredibly nauseas. Fun day.

Throwing your back out = all bad.

This past weekend was our station's 5th annual Tamales Festival. I was supposed to be in NY for the MTV VMA's...don't get me started on that story. I might get violent. Having to settle for working 9 hours on a Sunday, at a stupid festival, when you're supposed to be in NYC at an awards show is like being told that you won a head-to-toe makeover with a world renowned plastic surgeon but you show up and they tell you that all you're getting is a pap smear. Really? And I'm supposed to pretend like I'm having fun running up on stage every 5 minutes to announce that yet another child is wandering around looking for his/her parents.

At least tomorrow is Tuesdays with the Mayor. I always look forward to it because even though I rarely agree with his politics...we all just hang out and shoot the shit for an hour or so. I forget that he's an ex-NBA superstar and the Mayor of Sacramento because he really is a down-to-Earth, nice, respectful person. And he helped my Carver kids with their California Voices project a few months back...so he gets extra points for that too. When he comes in, he's always accompanied by his two "handlers." They're like his personal assistants, I would guess. They make me laugh because they are so invasive. Our mayor is such a pimp that he also has is own driver who waits for him outside in a black SUV (tinted windows, of course).

He (the mayor) always asks me about entertainment stories because I get the impression he has NO idea what goes on outside of Sacramento and I can't help but think...what if, someday, he goes to do more and be more than just the Mayor of Sacramento? Listen, I'm not saying he's going to be the next President of the United States...but I'd love to look back and have all of these stories to tell about the time I explained to Kevin (that's what he told me to call him after I repeatedly addressed him as Mayor Johnson) all about the Eric Dane, Rebecca Gayheart, Carrie Ann Prejean Gray's Anatomy sex tape scandal!!!!!

Anyways, I need go get in bed. It's only 9:10 but I like to read before I fall asleep. I'm an old lady, what can I say? And I'm a slow reader so I need at least an hour to make any significant headway. Otherwise it would take me years to finish a book. The current novela is "Official Book Club Selection" by Kathy Griffin and I highly recommend it...very entertaining, I've also become an obsessive hand-washer in my old age...but it isn't so bad that I carry hand sanitizer with me everywhere I go...yet...and I've also been getting really bad about going off on tangents...case in point.