LAWD HAMMERCY!!!

WARNING: THIS IS A LONG ONE

Well, I've certainly gotten myself into a little "situation" at work. Before I launch into the nitty gritty, let me tell you a quick story about myself.

I'm Jewish. I grew up in the south and the entire Jewish population of North Carolina, where I'm from, is approximately 1% (according to Wikipedia). So I know what it feels like to be different. I was the only Jewish kid in my classes, I never went to vacation Bible school and I don't know the words to most Christmas carols. I had a Bat Mitzvah, I went to Hebrew School on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons and I celebrated weird holidays. When Adam Sandler's "The Chanukah Song" came out in 1996, I thought it was the most brilliant thing I had ever heard. At 14 years old, I remember thinking, "Finally people understand that it's ok to be Jewish."

I've been told twice in my life, to my face, that I'm going to hell because I don't believe in Jesus. It happened once in Middle School and once in High School. I'll never forget those incidents for as long as I live. I guess you could say that religion is somewhat of a "hot button" for me. At times, I'm a little hyper-sensitive about it because of the experiences I've had in the past. But that's not to say that I don't crack jokes about religion and being Jewish - because I do - funny is funny and jokes are jokes. However, I'm used to being around people who don't share my beliefs so I think I'm very cognizant of what I say when in the presence of other people. I've learned that I have to be respectful and tasteful...and that there's always a fine line between humorous and offensive...harmless and malicious...especially when it comes to religion. On the flip side, I totally get that most people aren't used to being in the religious minority and don't realize that I'm as sensitive about it as I am.

You get the idea.

Anyways, at work this morning, a conversation (off the air) started in our studio about religious fasting. Wayne, one of my co-hosts, voluntarily fasts for 24 hours each week to represent his understanding of the sacrifice that Jesus made for his followers, as taught by Christianity. My boss (the program director) and our assistant program director were both in the studio along with the other 5 of us who do the morning show together everyday.

Side note: Wayne goes to church every Sunday and his father is a preacher. He also has pre-marital sex, watches porn, drinks, gambles and engages in various other forms of sin-like behavior...all of which I know to be true because he openly talks about. He would not deny any of what I've just told you. He is free to live his life in any way he chooses and it is absolutely none of my business...but I do find it to be ironic. I call it the "beat your wife on Saturday night, go to church Sunday morning" mentality. The notion that you can do whatever you want, whenever you want, as often as you want - as long as you ask for forgiveness at your convenience. He

And let me be over-abundantly clear about one thing...I'm no angel either. I have a devious side just like most other people in the world so I'm not trying to distinguish myself from Wayne by pretending that I'm holier than thou. I'm realistic. I think, for the most part, we all try to be good friends, family members, coworkers and contributing members of society...and we all fall short sometimes.

My APD (assistant program director) is the opposite of Wayne. His name is Randy. Randy walks the walk and talks the talk. He lives the straight and narrow. I find this to be equally as annoying (on a personal level) as someone who talks out of both sides of his/her mouth, but I respect that he practices what he preaches.

So the fasting conversation is taking place and my boss (who we'll call BK) said that he didn't understand the concept of religious fasting because he doesn't believe that God cares whether people eat or not. He said he thinks it's a little self-righteous to assume that God pays that much attention to any one person's dietary habits.

I didn't say anything.

Wayne and Randy seemed intent on proving their point, so the conversation lasted a lot longer than it should have. Finally I spoke up. I said, "Well, BK I'm Jewish so don't feel bad...I don't understand any of this." Everyone in the room already knew I was Jewish because I'm very open about it and have mentioned it, both on and off the air, on several occasions. Actually I take that back. The only person who didn't know about my religious beliefs before I made the comment was my boss. He didn't know because we aren't really acquainted with one another on a personal level. I've never seen or hung out with him outside of work, like the rest of my coworkers have. Like I've said in the past, it's a boys club...no girls allowed.

So after the conversation ended everyone pretty much dispersed in different directions. The show ended and that was that.

An hour or two later I got an e-mail from my co-host Wayne. The subject line read: WWWORD. I didn't know what it was so of course, I opened it. I'm just going to copy and paste the whole thing below because it'll be easier than trying to re-type it all:

From: KSFM Waynee Wayne
Sent: Wednesday, July 22, 2009 2:18 PM
To: KSFM Reagan
Subject: FW: WWWORD


1 Corinthians 1:18-23 (New Living Translation)
The Wisdom of God
18 The message of the cross is foolish to those who are headed for destruction! But we who are being saved know it is the very power of God. 19 As the Scriptures say,
“I will destroy the wisdom of the wise and discard the intelligence of the intelligent.”[a]
20 So where does this leave the philosophers, the scholars, and the world’s brilliant debaters? God has made the wisdom of this world look foolish. 21 Since God in his wisdom saw to it that the world would never know him through human wisdom, he has used our foolish preaching to save those who believe. 22 It is foolish to the Jews, who ask for signs from heaven. And it is foolish to the Greeks, who seek human wisdom. 23 So when we preach that Christ was crucified, the Jews are offended and the Gentiles say it’s all nonsense.

I read it once.

I read it again.

I went back and re-read it for a third time.

I sat for a moment and processed what the passage was about. Keep in mind, I've never read the Bible so all of the numbers were throwing me off a little bit. And then, in an unelicited response to the e-mail...I started crying. I was angry, offended, frustrated and hurt. I found it inappropriate and uncalled for. We work for a Fortune 500 company. William S. Paley, the chief executive who built CBS into one of the foremost radio and television network operations in the United States, was a Russian Jew. Not that that has anything to do with the scripture message I had just read...but loosely, the point is that using work e-mail for spreading Christian ideals and beliefs is neither professional nor appreciated.

It gets worse. The e-mail was originally sent by Randy (one of my direct superiors) to a group of people who work in our building. He sent it 15 minutes after the conversation we had in our studio about religious fasting...when I spoke up about being Jewish. Coincidence? Maybe. Or maybe not. I do find it suspicious that the scripture he chose made direct references to Jews. Again, I haven't read the Bible so I don't know if that's a common occurrence or not. But I found out later in the day that Randy sends these types of e-mails out almost daily...from his corporate e-mail account...on company time. Tsk, tsk. He sends them to about 15-20 people in our office as a type of bonding-through-Christ kind of kinsmanship. Obviously I'm not on that e-mail list but Wayne decided that I needed to hear the message so he (as one of the e-mail recipients) forwarded it to me.

I had some irrational thoughts while I sat there crying. My instinct was to print it out and march straight to HR. I could picture myself heading down there (e-mail in hand) on a mission, with a vengeance...demanding reprimand...refusing to accept anything less. But I've learned not to react emotionally to work situations. So I did the next best thing. I called my dad...but not before forwarding him the e-mail so that he could read it while we were on the phone together.

Here's a little 411 about my dad...he doesn't get mad. He's cool as a cucumber all the time. He is even-tempered, he's methodical and he's VERY patient (afterall, he still puts up with me...and my mom). I've seen my dad get really worked up on one or two occasions. Honestly, the rest of the time he's exceedingly logical. I call him every time I need him to "talk me off the ledge" and no one can reason with me the way my dad can.

Well, I can tell you this...Dr. J was PISSED!!! I don't know if I've ever heard that tone of anger in his voice.

He kept saying, "If I found out this was going on in my organization I would be livid!!! This is grounds for termination...what the hell are they thinking???"

We talked about the options I had. I could:

a). Do nothing...let it roll right off...take the high road and shrug it off

b). E-mail Wayne back, addressing him directly, about my disapproval

c). Talk to my boss about the situation

d). Go to Human Resources

I chose to e-mail Wayne directly. Listen, I'm not trying to get anyone in trouble...I don't want anyone to get fired...and I don't want to "be the girl who ran to HR" over a stupid little e-mail and got everyone in trouble. That's not how I operate. Here's my response:

Hey Wayne,

I totally respect your beliefs and don't mean any malintent in saying this, but I'd like to ask that you please not forward me Bible scriptures in the future. I know sometimes I joke about being Jewish but at the end of the day, it's something I take great pride in...I am firm and secure in my beliefs and would very respectfully like to make it clear that I do not wish to receive scripture e-mails from you or anyone else here at work.

Thanks,

Reagan

I went home after I sent the e-mail and thought that should have been the end of it...but it wasn't. One of my good friends in the building overheard me talking to my dad on the phone and went to tell BK about the e-mail because he knew I wasn't going to. From what I understand, my boss flipped out. He panicked, thinking I was going to turn on everyone involved (and by everyone involved, I mean the entire WWWORD mailing list, of which BK is a member). As it stands, I don't know who knows what or what the public perception of the situation happens to be.

Further, it's not even the content of the scripture that upsets me as much as it's the intent and motivation behind Wayne's decision to send it to me. He was trying to put me in my place and show me the error of my ways. It was deliberate, premeditated and reeked of superiority. It's totally characteristic of the working relationship I have with him (which is an entirely different issue all together...kind of).

So, I'm going to show up to work tomorrow as if it's business as usual but LAWD HAMMERCY!!! You know, I've often said that if you're the kind of person who always has issues with people at work then the common denominator is you. I don't know if I'm the problem or if this is all being brought on by outside forces.

I have to stop typing now, I'm getting a hand cramp.

PS - Freeze got fired again and I stand corrected...this was the fifth time he's been terminated from his position with CBS. He's got to be setting a record or something...is that worthy of an award? I feel like I should make him a certificate.

Dear Freeze,

Congratulations on being the employee who has been fired more times than anybody else in the history of the Columbia Broadcasting System. Job well done...not.

Regards,

Reagan