Mix Mornings.

We have this station in our building...I call it the Phil Collins station because it seems like that's all they ever play...with some Billy Joel and Elton John peppered in for good measure. And maybe a Kelly Clarkson "Breakaway" if they're feeling adventurous. Anyways, they're the same station that we had the newspaper ordeal with and they have a two person morning show called Mix Mornings with Dave and Jenn (or some variation of the such). I've spent the past month since we've been in our new building trying to decontstruct and dissect them. I'm a social interaction connoisseur and I take pride in tailoring my workplace camaraderies to the specific needs and personalities of those I'm trying to befriend.

Here's what I've learned so far:

Dave Thomson speaks in double entendre's. This morning I heard him say, "Oh yeah, I know what you need...I know what you want...and it starts with an 'f'...I'm talking about FUN...geez, that didn't sound so good did it?"

No Dave, it didn't. Your sexual innuendo's make me feel nauseas. Please stop.

Then he follows it up with, "What did you think I was talking about?"

Ummmm...oh, I don't know...fucking?

And then he plays Girls Just Wanna Have Fun...chuckling over the intro of the song like he's a comedic genius.

Dave drives a Toyota Previa and wears Jesus sandals every single day...you might know them as Teva's. I remember seeing people sporting them in the early-mid 90's but thought they had since been retired by the masses, along with hypercolor t-shirts and parachute pants. He also walks really, really fast which stresses me out. He flies through the hallways at mach 10...and just for fun, I thought about posting a speed limit sign outside of my office. I suspect that as "square" as he appears on the outside, deep down he's a freak nasty. I'm inclined to believe that he and his wife secretly engage in sadomasochistic rituals...and ultimately, I think that's why I like him even though it's safe to say that our presence in the building is a fly in his ointment. It's an adjustment for all parties involved.

Jennifer Steele is an entirely different story. Jenn is cougariffic. I hope I look that good at her age. The only things I'm not sure about with her are the hair extensions and her car-parking abilities. She used to have short hair. Then all of a sudden, she comes in one day with a head full of long blonde hair. She sets up an assortment of hair products in the bathroom (at work) in the mornings and since I'm the only other female in the building at 4:45 in the morning...and I know they're not mine...I can only assume that she comes to work to do her hair before she goes on the air. She has hairspray, curling irons, brushes, combs, mousse, clips and hair ties all over the counter. At first I thought she was just extremely vain and high-maintenance but then I decided that I could learn something from her. At least she makes an attempt...sometimes, I don't even try. I'm the queen of hooded sweatshirts and messy ponytails...it's radio...theater of the mind.

But enough about me and my disheveled unkemptness, my justification stands.

Jenn gets up at the ass-crack of dawn too and she is always dressed to impress. She is my inspiration to try harder.

She, unlike Dave, drives a really nice car (or at least it was 8 years ago). If I had to guess, I'd say it's a 2000-2001...Mercedes SLK...silver. I applaud her car choice. It lets me know that she spends $200 on oil changes without blinking an eye. The only problem I have concerning her automobile, is the way she parks it in the parking lot. My girl has no regard for the white lines and it looks like she let Stevie Wonder pull her car in. But nonetheless, I'm going to try to forge a friendship with her so that she can help me become a CIT (cougar in training).

They're both pretty set in their ways...which is seemingly what happens as people start to get older. I've noticed it in myself some. I'm a little OCD about certain things...I like bottled water, but not Evian (or any other kind of mineral water, for that matter). Mineral water tastes funny. And I'm definitely not a tap water drinker, it's not how I was raised. I like a certain kind of fabric softener/dryer sheets for my towels because I like them to smell a certain way. I like running errands on Saturday mornings or Sunday afternoons but never on Fridays. It's a little strange, I know.

I'm getting off-topic.

The point of all of this was to introduce you to the Mix morning show...so that when I refer to them in the future you'll know a little more about who I'm talking about. Background information. Reference points. We all work together now, there will be more Dave and Jenn stories to come.

"And not that you care, but now you know."